Friday, 10 January 2014

Leading the way

Never underestimate feelings. The power that accompanies emotion and thought. It can be truly scary just how deep and passionately they run.  I never fully understood this until I became a Parent. It is so strong it can take your breath away and any Parent would probably say the same.

The message becomes simple: "Mess with my child in any way, shape or form, and I will destroy you with my bare hands.  I will rip your innards out through your stomach, and shove them either back down your throat after soaking them in sulfuric acid, or wrap them with barbed wire and insert them into another orifice".  Simples, right?!  Underneath my cool, calm exterior, sleeps a most savage beast, but people don't really talk about that side of parenthood do they really?

It is because of this force, that Parents find it hard to let go when their children grow up, leading to a depression commonly know as "Empty Nest Syndrome".  Again, it is something that you can't really describe unless you've experienced it.  I do know however, that I am dreading that day when my Son flies away, independent.  I imagine it will bring feelings of pride, alongside feelings of abandonment and uselessness.  Scary.

So with that in mind, I wrote this poem for my son.  He won't understand it until he's much older, probably after having kids of his own, but at least he will see the depth of my love for him.

Now, with one hand:

You were once so small
Reliant and frail
And with the most primeval love
Both my hands
Cared, guided and protected.

For now, you're still young
Learning and loving
So with the fiercest love
I'll still care, guide and protect
Only, now, with one hand.

In the future you'll stand tall
Independent and strong
But with the most fearful love
These devoted hands 
Will be forced to release you

When that time comes
Never be afraid 
To take my hand once more
It will always be unwavering and open
Your grasp seeking
And yet reassuring.

So there you go, my soul laid bare.  I hope you feel it comes close to how you feel about your kids too.
Thanks for reading. x



Colin Davies said...

I know what you mean. Kill all that look at my boy wrong.

As my dad always used to say. His job wasn't to stop me making mistakes, it was to pick up the pieces.

Lovely poem.

Louise Barklam said...

Absolutely! Cheers Col. :-)

Ashley R Lister said...

Love the poem,

To me, it doesn't quite convey the essence of, "Get your fat arse off the settee and do the washing up!" but I appreciate we all have different views on parenting :-)

Seriously - love the poem.


Louise Barklam said...

:-D Ah, yes! The mundane chores and day to day life mask how we feel. But it should be said once in a while.

Glad to hear you're up and about again Ash!

Thank you. x

Steve Rowland said...

Louise, this pre-dated my involvement with Dead Good Poets or the Blog. It's great that you've given it some fresh exposure - I really like the poem and the sentiment behind it.