Saturday, 6 July 2013

About last night

00:00:00 Posted by Ashley Lister , , , 4 comments
 by Ashley Lister

I went to the Dead Good Poets’ open mic event last night. It was incredible.

We had Trevor Meaney as a guest poet. We’re indebted to WordPool and Blackpool Council for funding his visit. We’re also indebted to Trevor for joining us for the night. He is such a talented, clever, funny and fantastic poet that he’s worth finding online or seeing live if the opportunity arises. Trevor, if you’re reading this, I look forward to enjoying more of your work in the future.

We also had the usual eclectic blend of solid writing, surreal performances and superlative wordplay. To say that this was three hours of poetry – a punishment in some countries that has been condemned by the Geneva convention – the time sped past.

Two years ago the Dead Good Blog was borne from writers at the Dead Good Poetry events. Last night’s superlative event was a pertinent reminder as to why this group means so much to me. There was laughter and sadness. Friendships were made and nuisances were tolerated. There was a sharing of intelligent insight and bawdy verse. There is a sense of community at each event which is reinforced by the daily presence of this blog.

I’m proud to be an active part of this writing community and thrilled to be in the companionship of so many writers who I respect. And, in that spirit, here is one of the poems I shared last night on the open mic. Please note, I’ve censored the majority of expletives but I’m still pretty confident that it is going to offend some people J

I hope you enjoy.

If I only were a Tory

I would not be just a w****r
Or some hated off shore banker
Who looks like Peter Lorre
My life would be a breeze
Cos I’d make the old folks freeze
If I only were a Tory

With the benefits I’m stopping
The sick, like flies are dropping
And I’d get a morning glory
You would die if you’re not healthy
I’d give tax breaks to the wealthy
If I only were a Tory

I'd make Great Britain great
Cos I’d nuke council estates
And you know I’d not be sorry
Whilst the NHS gets sicker
I could watch my d**k grow thicker
If I only were a Tory

I could make the world more pleasant
By killing lots of peasants
And speaking like Hugh Laurie
All the scum I’d be removing
As the world – I was improving
And the lies I’d lie and spout
As the laws I’d freely flout
My bank balance’d be busting
I could not be more disgusting
And to add to all my riches
I’d screw voters like they’re bitches

If I only were a Tory


Colin Davies said...

Sing if your glad to be grey.

A cracking night, a cracking poem, a cracking blog.

Here's to 2 more years

Ashley R Lister said...

It really was a superb night. here's to two more years, and two more and two more...

scottydotti said...

Sad I couldn't make it one of them times I will sounded a fab night it sure us a tiggerific bunch of pps who attend each month such talant in Lancashire .Ash u sure have a way with words awesome had me in tears of laughter but hey alot of truth to hit home have a great week xxx

Ashley R Lister said...


You need to come back to the number five soon. It would be great to hear you on the mic again.