Oscar Wilde- a villain, hell!

I know relatively nothing of Oscar Wilde's work. Like most writers, I have an anthology and like most, I have flicked through it from time to time but to write something on the theme- you're having a laugh. 
What I do know about the man is that he was locked up for being a homosexual, the criminal! On account of him being a villain then, a villanelle. 

Heavyweight Themes

This week the blog post will be late
The gap between words and my mind is vast
I'm afraid, my friends, you'll have to wait.

We're discussing another literary great
Something I found out on Monday past
This week the blog post will be late.

Six days to research a heavyweight
A Dickens or Wilde is just too fast
I'm afraid, my friends, you'll have to wait.

Ideas- all the links- they vibrate, mutate
Though they gather up they just won't hold fast
This week the blog post will be late.

I cannot sit here until my pupils dilate
Sticking bad quotes together with Elastoplast
I'm afraid, my friends, you'll have to wait.

But reader, know I don't mean to aggravate
I just dare not to wrong the enthusiasts
This week the blog post will be late
So I'm afraid, my friends, you'll have to wait.



Thanks for reading,
S.

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... and Villains

A How to guide to being bad:

1) Grow a silvery grey coat flecked with charcoal.

2) Acquire a long snout (perfect for sniffing out grandmas).

3) Make your ears large and pointy (ideal for hearing red-hooded little girls)

4) Buy several pairs of fake wolf claws, extra sharp. (Available from all large supermarkets)

5) Make sure that your teeth are slightly yellow and razor-sharp.

6) Practice making scary, evil sound: a snarl, a growl or a grumble.

7) Learn the art of disguise (pigs and little girls can be clever creatures).

8) Do breathing exercise every morning in order to increase lung capacity.

Thank you for reading,
Lara

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