'If only I'd known.....'
It sounds so poignant, so full of
longing and regrets. And yet I think
life should be lived with as few regrets as possible. After all, every
experience, good or bad, makes us what we are. Would we have done things differently if 'we'd known'? Maybe we do regret choices we've made, but then it's up to us to learn
from those mistakes. They're all part of
life's rich tapestry.
I'm not into religion or psychic
phenomena or paranormal practices, but I've always been a big believer in fate, in terms of how one event might be the catalyst for a further string of happenings.
If only I'd known….
……when I hid round the back of that
building to avoid a first date with a new boyfriend, that he would wander round
that way, without thinking, link my arm and lead me, smiling and chatting, into
the coffee bar - and still be by my side forty five years later, would I have
done anything differently? Would I have hidden more carefully? Covered my tracks?
Unlinked my arm? It's unthinkable now that our lives might have veered off in
different directions. I didn't know, but
now I do.
 |
| We made it.... |
If only I'd known….
….last year, that using Dave's car to
nip to Cleveleys and pick up a few bits for our weekend away would result in a
severely broken arm and two operations (for him), a missed wedding and a
cancelled holiday. Would I have been
more organised and had everything ready, so no last minute trip was necessary? Would I have left the car
and jumped on a tram? Would I have warned him not to hang a carrier bag from
the handlebars of his bike? If only I'd known.....but I didn't. The experience
was tough but we got through it and I'd like to think it made us both stronger.
If only I'd known….
…..when we booked our joint 60th
birthdays celebration trip to Cuba that the husband was about to injure himself
skiing, Cuba would be postponed, and having left insurance till the last minute
we wouldn't get a penny back. If only I'd known......but I didn't. We went
later in the year and met some lovely people, I took some interesting pictures
and that led to my first exhibition. My
first exhibition led to meeting more lovely people, gaining in confidence,
becoming part of the Blackpool creative set, getting commissions and starting a
new career at the grand old age of sixty. Things really do happen for a reason. Or is
it that we make the reasons after the event?
If only I'd known.......
…..when I thought I had food
poisoning that I was actually in labour, and only an hour from giving birth; that there is always light at the end
of the tunnel, however distant it seems; that sometimes being good enough is
all that's needed; that my babies wouldn't always be tiny and cute; that
teenagers grow into adults; and that, even if they don't tell you so often, your
children do still love you; that dieting for fifty years wouldn't make me
thinner, just hungry and miserable; that people are unreliable; that things
aren't always black or white; that failure is as important as success; that marriage
isn’t always easy, but it sure is worth battling on; and that family, friends
and, above all, love are all that matter.
But I did know that, yes, I really
did know that.
If only I'd known by Jill Reidy
That dress did nothing for me
My hair was so brash
The shoes far too high
The rum and coke was a bad idea
He was as nervous as I was
He wasn't worth it
He didn't love me
My tears would eventually dry
My dad was right
In the grand scheme of things
None of it
None of it
Not one little bit of it
Mattered at all
Thanks for reading Jill
