Turn of Events - Changing the Course of a Life

My Dad at about the time he became a Bevin Boy

I've written before about how I believe in fate - or chance - whatever you want to call it, so this week's blog was right up my street.  There have been numerous times in my life when one event has set off a chain of others.  I love the way this can happen.  As in the film, Sliding Doors, I'm always aware that one decision can send things flying in a different direction. In my case, there has usually been a happy ending. 

This morning, pondering on what to write for this post, I spoke to my dad about an incident he'd told me about in his earlier life.  I was thinking I might include it in the post.  As we talked, I was impressed with his memory of events, the details that had obviously stuck in his mind.  In passing, he told me he'd once written it all down and if he could find it he'd send it to me. 

Half an hour later (after a few blips and phone calls) an email appeared in my inbox. My intention was to include some of the story in my post, but having read it, and been transported back to the 1940s, I took the unprecedented decision to include the piece in its entirety.  It was written in 2011, and the only amendments are that he has now been married sixty eight years and has eight great grandchildren, and two step great grandchildren. 

So here, without further ado is dad's account of a Turn of Events that began in 1943. (With apologies for quality and different sizes - they were sent as PNG files and try as I might, I can't get the images of the pages the same size)

The Reason I am Here by Jill Reidy 

Who would have thought

That a loose shoe lace 

Could have caused such a turn of events?

The serendipity of a random digit 

The lace undone

That decision

To stop and tie 

While others overtook 

And sealed their own inevitable fate 

Is the reason I am here 

Once a pacifist

That eager boy 

Dreaming of the fight

To save his country

Initial disappointment 

A small price to pay 

For seventy more years

A wife and family

And a life well lived

Scarred knees 

The only reminders 

Of a lace untied 

The decision

The lucky pause

That changed the course 

Of a young man's life 

And the reason I am here

Thanks for reading      Jill

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If Only I'd Known

'If only I'd known.....'

It sounds so poignant, so full of longing and regrets.  And yet I think life should be lived with as few regrets as possible. After all, every experience, good or bad, makes us what we are.  Would we have done things differently if 'we'd known'? Maybe we do regret choices we've made, but then it's up to us to learn from those mistakes.  They're all part of life's rich tapestry. 

I'm not into religion or psychic phenomena or paranormal practices, but I've always been a big believer in fate, in terms of how one event might be the catalyst for a further string of happenings.

If only I'd known….

……when I hid round the back of that building to avoid a first date with a new boyfriend, that he would wander round that way, without thinking, link my arm and lead me, smiling and chatting, into the coffee bar - and still be by my side forty five years later, would I have done anything differently? Would I have hidden more carefully? Covered my tracks? Unlinked my arm? It's unthinkable now that our lives might have veered off in different directions.  I didn't know, but now I do.

We made it....

If only I'd known….

….last year, that using Dave's car to nip to Cleveleys and pick up a few bits for our weekend away would result in a severely broken arm and two operations (for him), a missed wedding and a cancelled holiday.  Would I have been more organised and had everything ready, so no last minute trip was necessary? Would I have left the car and jumped on a tram? Would I have warned him not to hang a carrier bag from the handlebars of his bike? If only I'd known.....but I didn't. The experience was tough but we got through it and I'd like to think it made us both stronger.

If only I'd known….

…..when we booked our joint 60th birthdays celebration trip to Cuba that the husband was about to injure himself skiing, Cuba would be postponed, and having left insurance till the last minute we wouldn't get a penny back. If only I'd known......but I didn't. We went later in the year and met some lovely people, I took some interesting pictures and that led to my first exhibition.  My first exhibition led to meeting more lovely people, gaining in confidence, becoming part of the Blackpool creative set, getting commissions and starting a new career at the grand old age of sixty.  Things really do happen for a reason.  Or is it that we make the reasons after the event?

If only I'd known.......

…..when I thought I had food poisoning that I was actually in labour, and only an hour from giving birth; that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, however distant it seems; that sometimes being good enough is all that's needed; that my babies wouldn't always be tiny and cute; that teenagers grow into adults; and that, even if they don't tell you so often, your children do still love you; that dieting for fifty years wouldn't make me thinner, just hungry and miserable; that people are unreliable; that things aren't always black or white; that failure is as important as success; that marriage isn’t always easy, but it sure is worth battling on; and that family, friends and, above all, love are all that matter.

But I did know that, yes, I really did know that.

If only I'd known by Jill Reidy

That dress did nothing for me

My hair was so brash

The shoes far too high

The rum and coke was a bad idea

He was as nervous as I was

He wasn't worth it

He didn't love me

My tears would eventually dry

My dad was right

In the grand scheme of things

None of it

None of it

Not one little bit of it

Mattered at all

Thanks for reading         Jill

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